Celebrities here and there have proven to us that there are more ways than one to become super rich and famous. If these words are your definition of success, well then listen up and read on.
Why? 'Cause I'm listing down SIX of the best ways to become successful!
("I'm listening.")
I can hear the 'ca-ching' of cash registers echoing from a distance.
Here we go:
1: Drop out of college.
("You got that right.")
I don't know if you're familiar with this guy, but he goes by the name of Bill Gates.
If you were to listen to him, he'd tell you the REAL secret to success: education...but not too much of it. Too much of something is always a bad thing. So when you've gotten yourself enrolled in the university of your dreams, drop out!
("Huh?")
They told you to go to college. They never said anything about finishing it. That's too much work.
I bet Steve Jobs and Mark Zuckerburg will agree. Look at them, they're billionaires now.
2: Be Asian.
Speaking anatomically, Asians have been given more brains than the rest of the human species. They have, like, 4 or 5.
(...or more.)
This useful amount of brains allow them to land better jobs, juggle several business franchises and throw shurikens at their enemies while picking up flies in midair with chopsticks.
For better results, be Chinese. Those people have 20 awesomazing brains.
3: Punch people in the face.
("Gret idea!")
The human sport known as boxing is a contest wherein players violate the laws against violence for the entertainment of millions. I love the concept.
The guy who punches better goes home with more money. That's the best part!
("Dude, sniff my glove. Does it smell funny to you? How about if it's INSIDE YOUR NOSE???")
4: Wear food.
Celebrities stay in shape by wearing their food instead of eating it. Trust me on this.
("No thanks. I think I'll listen to Dev this time.")
Your friends will LOVE to see you wearing only bacon and eggs to school. They'll call it the Breakfast Chic.
Check out today's biggest rivals in the pop music industry:
On the left cornerrr... Katy Perry, and her muffin bra. On the right... Lady Gaga and her meat dress.
The trick to becoming filthy rich is to take things literally. They said "you are what you eat," so that's what they did. They became food.
5: Write a book about pots and the people who make them.
JK Rowling became one of the most successful authors in the world by following this. Her book was pretty straight forward with her topic too. She even called the book Harry Potter.
("Look at my interesting book about pots.")
Even she doesn't look interested in her book.
But hey, enough people bought it to make her a billionaire so I'm not questioning her writing skills. But to think she came up with 7 books about pots...am I missing something here?
(Look at that amazing detail... Pure artistry... And the texture of the clay is just... Okay, this is boring.)
6: WEAR FOOD. I SWEAR THIS IS LEGIT.
I can't emphasize this more, so I dedicated two numbers for it. Food is the new thing!
("Everybody settle down, it's me, Katy. It's the egg suit that's making me more appealing right now, but I'm still the same person.")
Take note that you only have to do ONE of these six things. You don't have to do them all. You might end up richer than you can handle. Stay safe!
(But the question is, "do you belief about being success?" HAHA.)
