"Tumblr!" by DEV

Hey guys!!!




Missed me? Yep, I missed me too. I've been gone for a while 'cuz I was all depressed. Why? 'CUZ ARK'S GOT A GIRLFRIEND!!!


Ark's got a girlfriend. Can you believe that? My loser bro has got himself a girl! Ermergerd. This can't be true. But what I'm rally 'fraid of is...


What will happen to our good ol' brotherly connection???

I mean, I got somebody to SHARE my brother with now?! Hell nah. I, the awesomazing Dev, never shares! Especially not my loser brother. He's MY loser.

But I still gotta support him. So all I can do now iz cheer myself up. How? With TUMBLRRRRR(rrrrr)!!!

If ya'll are smart enough to follow my Tumblr blog, here are some of the awezome things you'll see:

GIFs of Red Pandas eating sushi...

GIFs of everyday failure...

(Captioned appropriately as "Fuck yo trash.")

GIFs of fluffy cats and fluffy snow...

(Can this get any fluffier?)

GIFs of fluffy dogs and their not-so-fluffy owners...

Photogenic dogs...

Rad lightning trees...

Surprisingly inspirational quotes that are actually just lyrics of songs from singers whose albums have sold enough to make them matter enough to give you inspirational quotes...

MORE GIFs...

(Fedora shaming? Yeah, I guess.)

(Over-reacting dogs? Got it.)

(Acrobatic fat guys? It's right here.)

(And a bunch of other stuff...)

(A bunch of...)

(...other...)

(...stuff.)

There. Guess I'm calm again. LOL. Smell ya later folks!

I gotta go get my share of Ark's love.

Bye peasants.

"Ann" by ARK

As she gracefully descended from Heaven, I laughed and said to myself: "Ha. Looks like they finally kicked her out."

Ann. The wish-granting angel.

She's the best angel in town. (Aside from me and Dev, of course. Not to mention the fact that we are the only angels in this town.)

But even then, when we lived there on top of the clouds, she never failed to catch my attention.

Why? Because she's the very opposite of how an angel should be. Hyper, energetic, adventurous and just a little bit crazy. She's just like Dev, only without the horns and the tail.

But she's also cute, and funny, and she always had the wildest ideas. She was unpredictable, and so very different from the usual boring angels up there.

Her job as a wish-granter is to give them to the humans who deserve it. Dev and I are in charge of watching and protecting humans from harm. Ann is one of those angels who made sure everyone is happy.

She has the tendency to break the limits of her job description. She grants wishes here and there, no matter how deserving those people are.

She grants silly, nonsensical wishes just for the heck of it. She grants serious, heartfelt requests with compassion.

And I have never met an angel like her before.

Apparently she grants wishes for deserving angels too. But with our magical talents, that was almost never necessary. The only thing I wanted from her was to stay by her side a lot, because I enjoyed her company.

"Hey Ark!" she said, as cheerfully as ever.

We were never friends. We were less than acquaintances back then. I could only adore her from a distance.

But as you can see, she's friendly to everyone.

"Hello." I smiled and welcomed her to Jen's humble apartment. "What brings you to this wonderful planet?"

"Is it really wonderful?" she countered, just for the sake of countering. "Just kidding. I've been here a few times, and it's an okay place."

ARK: "Are you gonna stay for good?”

ANN: "Maybe. There are an awful lotta wishes to grant. The people here are depressed!"

ARK: "So you'll stay here until you make everybody happy?"

ANN: "That's impossible. But I'll do what I can."

My heart was racing. She is by far the biggest crush I've ever had. And she was far from perfect, but I never did want perfection. She's beautiful the way she is...she always was.

ARK: "So... maybe..."

ANN: "Maybe what?"

ARK: "Maybe you can start by making me happy."

She smiled.

ANN: "You want me to grant you a wish?"

ARK: "Yes. Though I'm not sure if I deserve one..."

ANN: "Of course you do. C'mon, what is it?"

She made a cupcake appear from thin air, and grabbed it. Just as she was about to take a bite, I told her my wish.

ARK: "Stay here. With us... I do not know why, but you are such an amazing person to me. I would be so happy if I could spend more time with you. Stay with me."

She smiled again...she almost laughed, actually. Instead of eating the cupcake, she handed it to me.

ANN: "Eat that."

ARK: "Umm, no thanks, I'm full."

ANN: "Just do it."

I took a bite of the most delicious cupcake ever. It was magical-- a flavor I never knew existed.

And then I just knew my wish has been granted.

"Little Rat" by ARK

Little Rat: (enters rat hole) Hi. I'm home.

Moldy Cheese: I know. I can smell trash like you from a mile away.

Little Rat: You know what, will you please stop saying that?

Moldy Cheese: Saying what? The truth?

Little Rat: ...yes.

Moldy Cheese: HA! You're a piece of trash and you know it.

Little Rat: I'm just... I'm too tired for this, okay? I've been doing a lot of things. I've been thinking about a lot of things. And honestly, I don't have the energy to deal with you right now.

Moldy Cheese: You've been doing what??? You haven't been doing anything! You don't have anything to think about.

Little Rat: I'm just worried that--

Moldy Cheese: --You've got a glorious rat hole right here if you ask me. You've got food, water and all the cheese you can have. What do YOU have to worry about? Ungrateful bastard.

Little Rat: I'm worried about you.

Moldy Cheese: Me? No, don't worry about me. I'm comfy where I'm seated.

Little Rat: You've been...taking up a lot of space lately.

Moldy Cheese: Nah, shut the hell up. Cheese like me belong in the rat hole. It's your fault for not eating me before I developed a brain of my own.

Little Rat: Yes, I know--

Moldy Cheese: --and it's your fault for not sharing me with the other mice. I bet THEY know how to eat me the right way.

Little Rat: But--

Moldy Cheese: --and I'm SURE they'd help you get rid of me too. IF THEY CARED! HAHAHAHA.

Little Rat: And now I'm stuck with you.

Moldy Cheese: We're roommates, buddy. We share this foul world together. If you step out there and show me to the world, you know what they would do? They'd laugh at you! The rat who couldn't eat the cheese.

Little Rat: I just thought maybe I can have you all to myself. A feast, probably.

Moldy Cheese: Selfish. You've always been selfish.You don't trust anyone enough to share me, huh? Well at least now you've got ME to keep ya company.

Little Rat: You're not the company I wanted! I just wanted to be alone!

Moldy Cheese: But see, if you don't show me to the cats--or to all the other mice--they'd think you're doing a pretty good job keeping me here. They're like, "Wow. Little Rat's got it all. He don't got nothin' to worry about. He's got the biggest cheese."

Little Rat: No! Nobody's gonna see you.

Moldy Cheese: "See" me? You mean what I'VE BECOME??? What YOU made ME become??? Since you snatched me from that human, you never bothered to touch me again, did you?!!!

Little Rat: I was just thinking about the future! I've... I've always been afraid of it. What it has. So I decided to keep you here for as long as I could. So, you know... I never have to worry about it again.

Moldy Cheese: And now I've become the problem you never wanted to have.

Little Rat: Listen, I gotta go. I have to rest. I have to--

Moldy Cheese: --look good in front of everyone. That's what you wanna do. You wanna keep pretending that you don't have a fucking moldy cheese occupying half of your fucking rat hole. You keep smiling, and looking at the other rats, convincing yourself that they actually love you.

Little Rat: What?

Moldy Cheese: Why make the effort, Little Rat? You know they hate you. You know why they underestimate you. You know why they don't get you. You know that THEY DON'T CARE.

Little Rat: That's not true.

Moldy Cheese: You know it is! And you're too afraid to tell them.

Little Rat: I don't...understand. (cries.) I don't even know why I'm like this.

Moldy Cheese: (slowly consumes the rat) Rest now, piece of trash. Tomorrow, they'll be facing you again. And you still won't be able to say why you look so bothered. Why you look sad. And why that smile on your face is fake.

Little Rat: I'll-- I'll expose you! I'll tell them--

Moldy Cheese: You can't. You don't know what to say. You never did... And you never will.

Little Rat: You're right... They'll just laugh at me.

Moldy Cheese: Nothing you ever do will be taken seriously. And nothing will matter in the end. Because you kept me, Little Rat. And do you wanna know the truth? They KNOW that you've been keeping me. They KNOW what I've become.

Little Rat: LIES! Stop lying to me!

Moldy Cheese: (starts dissolving the rat from within himself) NOBODY CARES!!!

Little Rat: STOP IT!! STOP!!! AAAAHHHHH!!!!!

Moldy Cheese: THEY NEVER DID SEE YOUR WORTH, DID THEY? NEVER CARED THAT YOU COULD SNATCH THE BIGGEST CHEESE??!! IT'S BECAUSE YOU ALWAYS LET THEM DECIDE WHO YOU ARE. YOU'RE TOO WEAK TO LIVE FOR YOURSELF!!!

Little Rat: PLEASE STOP!!!

Moldy Cheese: AND NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU FIGHT FOR WHO YOU SEE YOURSELF TO BE, ALL THE OTHER MICE WILL TELL YOU WHAT THEY THINK IS TRUE. WHAT YOU'RE TOO WEAK TO FIGHT AGAINST!!!

Little Rat: I...

Moldy Cheese: YOU ARE A PIECE OF TRASH, LIVING AND LETTING OTHER TRASH DECIDE WHERE YOU'D BE DISPOSED. IN THE END NONE OF YOU WILL EVER KNOW WHO YOU REALLY ARE 'CAUSE YOU LET EVERYBODY ELSE TELL YOU.

Little Rat: ...am not...

Moldy Cheese: AND I EAT TRASH LIKE YOU.

Little Rat: ...done.

Moldy Cheese: (consumes him.)

"Sara" by POP

Quite honestly, I'm never sure how to pronounce (or spell) Sara Bareilles's surname.

But anyway, one of her hit songs is my current LSS, so I decided to post an entry dedicated to her.



SONG(s) OF THE MOMENT:

"Love Song" by Sara Bareilles

"Gonna Get Over You" by Sara Bareilles

This one is so light and cheerful. It's overflowing with positivity. It's like the sound of a beautiful morning.

"Brave" by Sara Bareilles

And finally, one of her best anthems. I haven't really explored Sara's music yet, but I sure will now!

"Minecraft!" by DEV

We all know Ark's boring tale of looking for another internship site thingy. So lezz all just talk about what REALLY MATTERS here. I'm gonna show ya guys what I'M up to.

Y'all know that's mo interesting.

THIS, mah friends, is my wallpaper. Jen's been busy otaku-ing (which means she's been drooling over anime) so she changed the desktop wallpaper into this weird anime-girl-person-character.

THIS, mah friends, is also what happens whenever I open the awesomazing game MINECRAFT!

Look at her. Glorifying the gloriously glorious game.

So basically, Minecraft's been eating my precious time away. I've been busy pouring out my creatively oozing art juices into the BEST Minecraft world evah.

I mean, have you SEEN my awezome gold and diamond house???

Been trying to recreate the Dev and Ark Universe. So I started by building the mansion of the awesomazing guy who created us: Kent!

This is where I picture him drawing new, ugly creatures for me to share this blog's spotlight with. This is also where I imagine him taking care of 'bout a gazillion cats (a dog too, probably), eating popcorn and masturbating to posters of the Transformers.

(Indoor pool, anyone?)

Not to mention that this awesome pool connects to another pool OUTSIDE the golden mansion! And yes, all you have to do is swim through an underground water tunnel I made. Worship me later.

Go straight and you will be plummeting to your death, to Kent's room. Where you will see...

...his weird fetish towards Mooshrooms... (Which is now my totally new favorite worrrd.)

...his affection towards the pets I so comfortably foreshadowed earlier...

AND HIS HORRIBLE TASTE IN ROOM POSTERS.

(WAT.)

So there ya have it, folks. That's what's been leeching my brains for a couple o' days.

Thank you for letting me break the fourth wall for a few secs!

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go do something productive.

(Merw.)

LOL. Minecraft, of course! 

"Stayin' Alive!" by DEV

Lemme just leave this here so you know I'm still alive:

STAYIN ALIIIIIVE!!!










And yes, Ark and I are still alive. But we entered a little carnival show as a part-time job before we graduate, so yeah...we're really tryna balance everything in our lives now.


Literally. Knives and swords and all that shit... while on a tight rope!

We misya guys! Ark will come up with his same shit after a couple o' days. We're looking for another intern thingy, so we have to balance time... and knives, and balls.

LOL.

See ya!