"Fading"by ARK

Dev and I have finished nearly every single one of the requirements we need to graduate. We can feel that we are on the last few days of our stay at the College of Communication. Even scarier than that: we're about to finish our studies.

A few months ago I thought the feeling would be glorious. Like accomplishing something impossible.\

But now that we're actually this close to graduating, I feel like I'm...

...fading.

I said goodbye to my internship friends a couple of days ago (the same reason I have not been able to post anything for a long time. I was busy with the internship, and our internet connection was cut. Imagine how devastated Dev's been. He still gets cranky at random intervals due to the lack of an internet connection.)

When I waved my last goodbye to the old building I spent three months in, I was not able to help but feel empty.

That day, I held in my hand a very successful evaluation sheet that proved how hard I worked during my internship. But the happy feeling inside me, had a shadow of loneliness casted on it. It was the goodbye part that hurt. It was the fact that I was leaving a place that I've been so attached to.

Of course I can always pay them a visit. But it would be different. I guess it's not the goodbye that's making me sad. It's the fact that my life is moving forward at an incredibly fast pace. And I'm struggling to hold on.

The fear of the future is becoming ever more real.

Now imagine the emptiness I'd feel when I finally leave the people I've spent four years with. Four years worth of memories and experiences that you'll never recall in detail. It's a sad, sad loss.

I'm fading. Not disappearing. I'm fading into the future. And I don't know what things I'll get to keep with me. I wonder what it would be that would fade with me?