DEV and ARK: "Reasons to Become a Werewolf!" by DEV

Tonight, I will be listing down all the reasons why you should become a werewolf. 'Cause why not, right? Are you ready?

("Yeah!")

REASONS TO BECOME A WEREWOLF by DEV

Reason Number 1.) You get your own Wikipedia entry.

Fact: You do not have your own Wikipedia entry.

Fact: You want one. You do.

Fact: Werewolves have a Wikipedia entry dedicated to them. (In fact, here's the link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Werewolf) Jealous yet?

Fact: If you sign up now, we'll have you bitten by rabies-free werewolves, and you are guaranteed to be classified as a supernatural creature by the next full moon. Hurry! Limited time offer only.

(Want to look as fabulous as this fella? Call: 16800-MOON now, and get a free razor.)

Reason Number 2.) HAIR.

I heard that humans don't often choose the bald life, because hair is a symbol of beauty.

I'm not sure if "symbol" is the right word, but beautiful hair is usually associated with beautiful people.

Conclusion: Hair = Beauty.

And check out the hair on this fella! Aint he beautiful?

("Hello, ladies.")

Why not get hair on every single inch of your being? It's proven to hide dark spots and blemishes. Got acne? No problem! The solution is hair. The solution is lycanthropy.

Reason Number 3.) You get extra holidays.

Your boss won't even question why you have to take a leave every time the full moon is approaching. He'll surely be proud of how you transform into a vicious, meat-seeking, blood-thirsty, monster, and he'd want you to show it to the world.

He'd be proud of his employee, as he disappears into the darkness of the night, rampaging through the villages and terrorizing civilians.

Asking for a leave will never be a problem for you. Just say it nicely.

("Sir, may I take a leave?")

Heck, he might even give you an award.

Reason Number 4.) Everyone will like you!

Fact: You'll be a hit with the ladies. Oh, except if you look like this:

(Disgusting.)

Fact: Dog lovers will simply adore you.

Fact: Wolves are part of the dog family. If anybody questions you, throw them a biology book. Or the bodies of the people they love.

Fact: Wolf lovers will love you too!

Prepare for unwanted affection.

And now that you have all the great reasons to become a werewolf, start looking for one now! Maybe if you somehow survive, and they don't tear apart your flesh, you'll become one of them.

Beware though, your life will completely change. For the better, of course!

Now ready your scary face. We're gonna go hunting.