"The Blue Moon Theories!" by DEV

Tonight, we're seeing a strange phenomenon known as the Blue Moon.

What's so 'strange' about it, you ask? Well, it's the fact that the moon is not f*cking blue. Have ya'll gone blind?

A few explanations are available online as to why we're calling it a "Blue Moon" when it's the exact same color as usual. But being a lazy ass, I didn't read any of them.You'll find the links below, if you're really into that.

Now here are a few theories about the Blue Moon phenomenon, and what it is really all about:

Theory Number 1: The Moon Hates Pluto

So a few days ago, this little space rock called Pluto flew by, reminding us how awesome it is, and why we shouldn't have removed it from our list of planets.

(That was a dick move, btw. Pluto totally deserves better.)

For a moment, we were so totally captivated by Pluto's new look that we regretted breaking up with it in the first place.

Like a jealous lover, the Moon felt it was being overshadowed by this other heavenly body. That's why we're having a Blue Moon. It's the Moon being an attention-seeker.

(Ugh. We see you every night, Moon.)

Theory Number 2: Werewolves

You know how werewolves only come to hang out when there's a full moon? Yeah, those assholes never show up at parties.

But an unusual breed of werewolves only appear during the Blue Moon. F*ck yeah, blue werewolves!

(A dangerous combination of a bloodthirsty wolf and a Smurf)

This theory supports the existence of Smurfwolves. Hell yes.

Theory Number 3: The Moon is Sad

Maybe the moon is literally feeling blue! Maybe it's going through a break-up or something. Maybe 'bae' won't talk to him/her.

(*insert sad song*)

Oh come on. You'll find someone better, Moon.

Okay, I can only really count to three. So that's all the theories I got. Someone please explain this Blue Moon business to me!

And please don't make me read these informative links. P.S. I don't own these.

http://science.nasa.gov/science-news/science-at-nasa/2015/27jul_bluemoon/
http://www.theverge.com/2015/7/31/9078743/blue-moon-date-july-31-2015-dont-watch
http://khon2.com/2015/07/30/whats-a-blue-moon-and-why-is-it-so-rare/

"The State of The Nation" by MAX

Greetings, fellow Martians. I am sending you this report because I have discovered yet another unusual human activity that we may need to look into.

They call it the State of the Nation Address, codenamed 'SONA'. I am yet to find out what the purpose of this activity is for, but I hope to describe it in this report.

Here is an accurate description of the Earthling's State of the Nation Address:

1. Well-dressed Earthlings gather in a large hall and sit for at least two hours doing nothing.

(They look really interested in whatever is going to be discussed.)

2. The well-dressed Earthlings stare blankly at an old human male, who is also well-dressed for the duration of the event.

3. The well-dressed old human male speaks gibberish for the duration of the event.

4. The well-dressed old human male is rudely interrupted by nonsense videos that talk about "achievements of the administration" which I currently have no information about.

5. The well-dressed old human male is also rudely interrupted by "rounds of applause" from the well-dressed Earthlings. I have no idea why they clap their hands over gibberish. We must investigate.

6. The well-dressed old human male suffers from mild bouts of uncontrollable coughing. He apologizes for this perfectly natural human behavior every time.

7. The well-dressed Earthlings fall asleep while the old human male is speaking, but somehow wakes up when the camera points at them.

8. Another thing, there were cameras everywhere. It lead me to believe that more Earthlings were watching the gibberish from their homes. We must know why.

9. Some of the well-dressed Earthlings stood up near the end of the event, holding pieces of paper, and showing it to the well-dressed old human male.

10. The event ends and everyone goes home.

Conclusion: This SONA event is extremely mysterious and controversial. I noticed all the Earthlings were talking about it afterwards! Honestly, I got bored by the whole thing. But some strange phenomenon is behind this activity, and we must uncover it.

What is the state of this nation? And why were all these Earthlings well-dressed?

I will report again soon.

"Sunrise" by ARK

A lot of people love watching the sunset. It is a romantic scene that we can admire from a distance, as the light struggles to break free from the coming evening, and as the sky bursts into different shades of red and orange.

But I am one of those few who love watching the sunrise.

Staring at the dark blue sky from a cold, windy balcony is such a delight, knowing that the darkness is about to fade and the night is at its end. You can feel that the dawn is coming.

And then suddenly, the heavens start shifting colors, and the light slowly breaks in. The sun rises from where it fell, and its rays energize you. You are awakened within with the coming of this bright yellow star, and you know you are alive.

You embrace the warmth and smile a little, because the morning is there again.

I consider myself a morning person.

Mainly, it's another excuse to drink coffee, but the morning really brings delight. Not that everyone would agree.

For me, it is a reminder that we can fall and rise again, since that is the natural cycle of life. The daytime brings me hope. The sunrise is a symbol of that hope.

And I'll always love the sunrise.

"Pabebe Girls" by DEV

They can't be stopped. The "Pabebe" virus has swept the Filipino nation and will soon become a plague if we don't find a cure.

(Oh no!)

If you don't know what a Pabebe Girl is, then consider yourself lucky. You are pure. You are safe, at least for now.

But we can never be too careful. You may already have it in you. The only thing we can do is to identify whether you've been inflicted.

Here are some of the signs and symptoms of the Pabebe Girl virus. Are you one of them?

1. You introduce yourself with an aggressive "Hi," and tell everyone that you're a Pabebe Girl.

("Hi. Kami ang pabebe girls.")

(Translation: Hi. We're the pabebe girls)

2. You feel the urge to threaten humanity for questioning your "pabebe" ways.

3. Your friends don't even know what a Pabebe Girl is. You seek to educate them by making a Youtube video tutorial.

("At wala kayong magagawa kung pabebe kami sa mga...mga video namin!)

(Translation: a Pabebe Girl is a woman of honor, integrity, and passion.)

4. You suddenly crave for mamon.

(You love it so much that you film yourself while eating it, to preserve the memory.)

5. You want to teach people how to eat mamon, and all the creative ways to do it.

(Even if every method looks the same.)

Your condition may be severe, depending on how true these statements are for you. But don't worry, no one is going to stop you from pursuing your new found 'pabebe' lifestyle.

After all, we don't wanna incur your wrath.

(WALANG MAKAKAPIGIL SAMIN! MANAHIMIK KA!!!)

(Translation: We kindly ask you to bring us more mamon.)

Go see the full Pabebe Girls videos here!

Disclaimer: I neither own these pics/videos, nor am I a Pabebe Girl.

*sweats nervously* Or am I?

(These are advanced Pabebe Girls who have evolved into Pabebe Warriors.)

(Pabebe Girl eats mamon.)

Peace out!

Cat Pig's Compilation: "Adorable Little Furry Monsters of Death"

If you haven't gotten your daily dose of cat pics yet, then now's the perfect time to check out these adorable little furry monsters of death, a.k.a. Cats.

1. Here we see a typical human 'booping' a cat's nose.

2. Here we see that same human getting punished for that mistake.

3. Fact: You cannot ride warrior kittens into battle. The warrior kitten rides you.

4. This is the Money Cat. Legend has it, that if you share its image across the web, money will come your way. It is highly recommended though that you start seeking better financial advise.

5. She's beauty, she's grace. She'll wipe that smug look off your face.

6. Warrior kittens on their way to overthrow the king.

7. A warrior cat knows how to defend what matters most.

                                 

8. "I'll destroy everything you own and kill everyone you love...after this bath."

                                           

Credits to the owners of these images. More of them at: devandark.tumblr.com

Disclaimer: If you are the owner of these images, please send me a message: kentmichaelhansen@gmail.com

Thank you. You rock.

"Grime" by ARK

Life is a road that we all must take.

There is no way around it; there is no grand staircase to our ultimate destination, wherever that may be. We can only follow it, enjoy the adventure, and hope for the best.

Sometimes the road of life has no trail to follow. Sometimes it's just grass, sometimes it's just mud. Sometimes the concrete pavement disappears, and we have no choice but to make our own steps; head for our chosen path and see where it takes us.

We all have different roads, sometimes intertwining, but never fully combining. We are alone in our journey to nowhere.

All we know is that life is a great adventure, every once in a while. And just the same, life is a horrible place to be every once in a while.

We just keep moving forward, down this filthy road, getting our pants wet and soggy.

No matter how many times we trip, no matter how many times we get our legs bruised, we keep walking, running, sprinting towards our undetermined fate.

I like rolling around in the mud.

It keeps me heavy, it keeps me dirty and grounded. It keeps me alive, and desperate to survive.

Sometimes I allow life's grime to take over the surface of my body.

Sometimes I allow it to wear me down, and keep my wings unusable.

Sometimes I let the wounds and the dirt eat up my existence.

That is because I know that my journey goes on. That life goes on.

And the rain will wash it all away eventually. And it is going to feel so good.

I am going to run through the rain; I am going to see the sun rise again. I will see the flowers bloom on the large fields that I am bound to come across.

I will feel the breeze and let the wind cleanse me as I hop along this unending road.

I will sing to myself and to everyone I will meet along the way, to remind them that the sun always comes back no matter how many times the oceans swallow it.

I may be alone in this journey, but my adventure is an exciting one. It is filled with tragedy, and dirt, and grime. And just the same, it is full of hope, and dreams, and flowers on the side of the road.

"An Announcement" by KENT

Hi guys! Kent here.

(*crickets*)

I'm the guy who owns this blog? The creator of Dev and Ark? Hi?

So anyway, the guys haven't been posting a lot 'cause they've been busy with a lot of stuff.

The real world required every single ounce of their angelic concentration, and they've been struggling to survive without having to go back to Heaven.

But now that things have settled down a bit, we decided to bring this blog back!

(YEEEEEEEAAAHHH!)

And if you need a little more convincing, here are the Top 10 Reasons Why You Should Go Back To (Or Start) Reading Dev and Ark's Blog Posts:

1. Umm...
2. ...please?

Come on, guys, just give this cute little fella a chance:

Hold on, that's not it...

There! Isn't that a cute little fella? Read this blog. Do it for him.

And now, for the announcement.

Here is my new, ambitiously-planned blog schedule (which I am hoping to keep starting this coming Monday! July 20):

Ark's Blog Day - Every Monday (to keep you inspired as the week starts, I guess?)

Guest Day - Every Wednesday (because Wednesdays are really awkward, don't you think?)

Dev's Blog Day - Every Friday (to keep you hyped for the coming weekend.)









P.S. I missed you guys! And so did Dev, Ark, and all of their friends. But we are back again, baby!

Awesomazing.

See ya next week! *awkward winky face*