"Cool Down!" by FIN

CAN YOU FEEL THE HEAT?

Well, if you're in this country YOU SHOULD!!!

What I'm trying to say here is... IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO LIVE HERE WITHOUT FEELING THE HEAT!!!



Yeah, humans. It's getting hot in here. And nobody really likes seeing an entire population of sweaty water bags.

So I, Fin the Shark, have come to rub it into your noggins. SEE WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO THE OZONE LAYER??? THIS is what we get for punching a hole into a wall that's supposed to be preventing us all from getting stir-fried.

YEAH YOU OUGHTTA FEEL SORRY! But it's too late now. We're all toast. (If we were made of bread, that would be literal.)

So what CAN we do? Yes, aside from frying eggs on the sidewalk or peeling off a layer of our skin.

I present to you...

FIN's TOP 10 WAYS OF BEATING THE HEAT (which you totally brought upon yourselves):

1. Stay inside! If you got no better place to go, stay in front of your electric fan. Or if you're lucky enough to own an air conditioner, don't turn it off either. I heard that's bad for nature, but who wants to see burnt humans polluting Mother Nature? If you want, you can even find excuses to stay in air-conditioned places, like malls, or government offices... Get crafty!

2. Bring in the Ice Bowl! If you do NOT own an air conditioner, there are other things you can try. Grab a bowl, get a couple of ice cubes from the refrigerator and drop all of them in the bowl. Then put it in front of your electric fan, close your eyes, and pretend that you DO own an air conditioner. The Ice Bowl trick works like a charm. Or better yet, stay inside that refrigerator of yours.

3. Shakes are welcome! Yeah, go grab a smoothie or a shake or something. You humans have invented all sorts of artificial fruits anyway, so why not use them to cool you off? Fact: drinking a fruit shake while in front of the electric fan is AWESOME. Especially for this heat wave.

(doesn't looking at this already cool you?)

4. Coffee is ALSO welcome! Yep, my scientific friends from the deep blue sea found out that drinking a warm beverage can actually help you cool your body. I tried it, but since I'm a cold-blooded creature, I can't tell for sure. Who knows, maybe it truly works on humans. Anyway, this is all because of one bodily process familiar to everyone as SWEATING. So it's basically common sense. If you drink something warm, you sweat. Start sweating and soon you'll cool down.

5. Drink water! Duh, you know this sh*t.

6. Take a shower! If you don't ALWAYS do this, well now is the time to start showering. It's advisable to shower up to twice a day. I dunno why. I mean, we sharks can stay in water the ENTIRE DAY. And we're perfectly fine. You're specie is weird, dear reader.

7. Do a rain dance! Or at least pray for some rain. In this country, (and because of GLOBAL WARMING) it rains every now and then. And I really wanna pour out some tears of joy when I see the sky darkening for a bit, just to shower you with its love. The sun definitely does not like us very much right now, so let's just enjoy the rain whenever it comes, okay?

8. Strip! Yes, strip. Get rid of all those pieces of cloth you purposely attach to your bodies. You don't need warmth right now, so might as well toss them out. Or at least wear lighter clothes. You know, the ones sensitive to every, single, air current.

9. Go deep! Like, find a canal and jump in there. A swimming pool works too. And scuba diving too...but that's too expensive. Canal it is, then.

(what is this canal called? yes, the one with the dolphin.)

10. Cuddle with a penguin! I dunno. I don't suggest cuddling with me, 'cause I'm sorta scaly. Penguins on the other hand are soft, and naturally cool. Cuddling with them would bring you all the coolness you need to survive for several more heat waves.

(WHO WOULD NOT WANNA CUDDLE THESE CREATURES???)

(except Batman.)

SO there. I did not wanna do it, 'cause you humans have really done it this time. But hey, we must coexist. Follow those steps and you'll live long enough to get yourself into more nature-related trouble.

P.S. Blogging about the weather seems to have an odd cooling effect as well.