"Thoughts" by ARK

This month definitely has the least number of posts ever. But I for one think it's a good kind of change.

That means I dedicate more time for school work, right? Maybe. I have been banning Dev from posting too. We must suffer this together. And if I get good grades this semester, summer vacation will be worth it. I'll be enjoying it much more.

So right now, my thoughts are (supposed to be) focused on school, and real life. With that alone, it's already overloaded. School is a vast term, you know. In school we have homework, activities, friends, romance, food, emotions, thrills, and more thoughts.

I have been redefining myself these days.



I have been changing the way I look at myself.

No, what I've been really trying to do is stare at the mirror and simply define what I see. Don't you know it's the hardest thing to do?

I want a clearer picture of who I am. Because I'm about to graduate, and I want an idea of who I am going to introduce to the real world. Who is this Ark that will be facing all the new challenges? Is he confident? Is he a pushover? Is he strong? Is he dense? Is he sensitive?

Somehow all of the things that used to define me, have been mixed up. I am now this diverse self, I could not fully grow accustomed with. It's hard to know how to organize your thoughts if you don't know how you think in the first place.

I guess I'm mad...

...at myself, for being so confused.

Frustrated. My emotions have never flowed so easily, and that's the only thing I actually like. I'm more honest with myself. I'm lost within my mind, and yet I've never been in so much control.

I see now, that the reason I'm mad, the reason I'm frustrated, and the reason I can't define who I am, is because this is the first time I've tried to view myself for what I really am.

This angel is learning a lot about himself, by the minute. No wonder he is overwhelmed.

The past Ark and the new Ark have combined in order to be a stronger, more formidable force. Don't worry, friends. I will learn how to handle myself. And after redefining myself, I shall emerge better than ever.

So who am I? What are these thoughts telling me? Why do I show anger in my dreams? What are these emotions about?

I know the reason. And despite my honesty, I won't be sharing it here. Bwahaha. And I am not sorry.

What have YOUR thoughts been about?