Yeah, yeah, yeah. So Ark's only got four days left to work in that fast food chain, and I heard that everyone's been sorta cool to him these days. They've even put a "TYVM :)))" on his name written on the schedule. If you didn't know, TYVM stands for "Tomatoes. Yellows. Veggies. and Mayonnaise. :)))" Either that or it's "thank you very much. :)))"
They're thanking him for two months worth of hell.
But now he's about to leave, people are trying to be good to him to make up for their past mistakes (or to make sure his awesome muscular brother doesn't rush there to wage war!)
Ark's making a few last-minute friends. He's recon...reconsi...reconciling with a few enemies (what's the point??? Oh well, that's just Ark for yeah.) He's also trying to make sure he'll be remembered (he should try blowing something up. THAT'll get him remembered.)
He's got this feeling that some of his friends might actually miss him. So, okay, fine. Whatever, Ark.
BUT WHAT I REALLY WANNA TALK ABOUT ARE LE CUSTOMERS.
(we will kill everyone you love.)
Yes. Within the few weeks I've stayed working, I encountered every specie of customer there is. And I'll let you meet every one of them. (As if that's a good thing! LOL.)
Le Customers of Our Service Industry:
1. The Extras
--> these guys are pretty simple to talk about. They're the faces in the crowd that remain in the crowd. They're the people who come, eat, and leave without ever talking to you. They come and they go, like all movie extras do. These are some of the BEST customers you will be faced with.
2. The Smart Ass
--> People who will look at their receipts and pretend to understand the meaningless scribbles even I can't understand. They will then proceed to tell you that you failed to give them all the food they've ordered, and that it says so in their receipt. I need Ark when handling these kind of people. He's got a good way of showing them who's boss. I mean, Ark's the BIGGEST Smart Ass I know. He's also probably the biggest Ass.
3. The Beast Master
--> Or the Dog Owner. Or the Zoo Keeper. Whatevs. They're the jerks who treat service people like their pets. They'll call out to you almost saying "come here boy! Fetch! Fetch me a chair!" Yep. Just plain rude.
4. The Kids
--> complicated creatures, I'm telling ya. They come in all shapes and forms, so be careful when handling them. They range from polite and adorable, to carbon copied-miniature versions of their parents, to sheer evil energy contained in a small body.
5. The Elderly
--> Painfully fragile humans stuck in a pit full of lions. When a frail, sickly old woman tries to get her tray full of food and drinks across an entire fast food full of people moving viciously...you can't help but cringe, can you? For Pete's sake, assist her. Please.
6. The I-Need-Like-Ten Glasses-Of-Water-Full-Of-Ice-And-Oh-Give-Us-Plates-Too-We-Need-Like-Ten-And-Tissues-Please
--> They mean well. They say it well. It's just that they underestimate their request a *little* bit. These well-meaning people who simply want your assistance can still prove to be quite a pain, especially when you try to memorize their request while imagining how you'll fit ten glasses of water on only one tray so you could save time and energy. And they are NOT THE ONLY CUSTOMER YOU CURRENTLY HAVE.
7. The I-Think-I-Want-One-Too
--> As you victoriously fulfill number 6's request, you sigh relieved and prepare to get back to work, only for customer number 7 to see what you are doing, and suddenly decide that they also need ten glasses of water to complete their fast food experience. *flips table*
8. The Detective
--> The detective will constantly "follow up" on their orders. They are at first, docile creatures. But when left alone for a few minutes, they will start raising their table numbers in the air, telling you to follow it up again. They are at their most dangerous when they begin to approach the counter, to complain how hungry they are and how much time they've wasted waiting for their food. Only the manager can spare you now.
9. The Spiller
--> Whether the customer is apologetic or not, spills are annoying. There's nothing to do but clean them. The Spiller is not aware that cups can be knocked over. Most Spillers are stressed-out parents handling their mini-tornadoes known more commonly as children. (Variation: The Spitter. Yes. I'm talking VOMIT.)
10. The Lovers
--> Here to remind you that you are forever alone, they are harmless. (otherthantheemotionaltraumatheygiveyouastheyholdhandssweetlyandremindyouthatyouhaven'tgotapersonlikethatinyourlife.) Let the bitterness flow, ladies and gentlemen.
11. The Saints
--> My favorite are the ones that slightly resemble human beings and show bits of human emotion, morals and values. Customers that still know how to say thank you and smile at you are the BEST. They know that they are being served by fellow human beings, and so they show respect for their fellow race.
12. The Hybrid
--> Of course, some of those I've mentioned above can have two or three more traits combined. Good luck handling THEM.
13. The FAMILY
--> The family that eats together will probably get you killed. Imagine an entire table consisting of the customers I've already mentioned above.
SO I SEE YOU'RE READY TO ENTER THIS DANGEROUS WORLD. ONLY ONE QUESTION: ARE YOU READY?
