"The Blue Moon Theories!" by DEV

Tonight, we're seeing a strange phenomenon known as the Blue Moon.

What's so 'strange' about it, you ask? Well, it's the fact that the moon is not f*cking blue. Have ya'll gone blind?

A few explanations are available online as to why we're calling it a "Blue Moon" when it's the exact same color as usual. But being a lazy ass, I didn't read any of them.You'll find the links below, if you're really into that.

Now here are a few theories about the Blue Moon phenomenon, and what it is really all about:

Theory Number 1: The Moon Hates Pluto

So a few days ago, this little space rock called Pluto flew by, reminding us how awesome it is, and why we shouldn't have removed it from our list of planets.

(That was a dick move, btw. Pluto totally deserves better.)

For a moment, we were so totally captivated by Pluto's new look that we regretted breaking up with it in the first place.

Like a jealous lover, the Moon felt it was being overshadowed by this other heavenly body. That's why we're having a Blue Moon. It's the Moon being an attention-seeker.

(Ugh. We see you every night, Moon.)

Theory Number 2: Werewolves

You know how werewolves only come to hang out when there's a full moon? Yeah, those assholes never show up at parties.

But an unusual breed of werewolves only appear during the Blue Moon. F*ck yeah, blue werewolves!

(A dangerous combination of a bloodthirsty wolf and a Smurf)

This theory supports the existence of Smurfwolves. Hell yes.

Theory Number 3: The Moon is Sad

Maybe the moon is literally feeling blue! Maybe it's going through a break-up or something. Maybe 'bae' won't talk to him/her.

(*insert sad song*)

Oh come on. You'll find someone better, Moon.

Okay, I can only really count to three. So that's all the theories I got. Someone please explain this Blue Moon business to me!

And please don't make me read these informative links. P.S. I don't own these.

http://science.nasa.gov/science-news/science-at-nasa/2015/27jul_bluemoon/
http://www.theverge.com/2015/7/31/9078743/blue-moon-date-july-31-2015-dont-watch
http://khon2.com/2015/07/30/whats-a-blue-moon-and-why-is-it-so-rare/

"The State of The Nation" by MAX

Greetings, fellow Martians. I am sending you this report because I have discovered yet another unusual human activity that we may need to look into.

They call it the State of the Nation Address, codenamed 'SONA'. I am yet to find out what the purpose of this activity is for, but I hope to describe it in this report.

Here is an accurate description of the Earthling's State of the Nation Address:

1. Well-dressed Earthlings gather in a large hall and sit for at least two hours doing nothing.

(They look really interested in whatever is going to be discussed.)

2. The well-dressed Earthlings stare blankly at an old human male, who is also well-dressed for the duration of the event.

3. The well-dressed old human male speaks gibberish for the duration of the event.

4. The well-dressed old human male is rudely interrupted by nonsense videos that talk about "achievements of the administration" which I currently have no information about.

5. The well-dressed old human male is also rudely interrupted by "rounds of applause" from the well-dressed Earthlings. I have no idea why they clap their hands over gibberish. We must investigate.

6. The well-dressed old human male suffers from mild bouts of uncontrollable coughing. He apologizes for this perfectly natural human behavior every time.

7. The well-dressed Earthlings fall asleep while the old human male is speaking, but somehow wakes up when the camera points at them.

8. Another thing, there were cameras everywhere. It lead me to believe that more Earthlings were watching the gibberish from their homes. We must know why.

9. Some of the well-dressed Earthlings stood up near the end of the event, holding pieces of paper, and showing it to the well-dressed old human male.

10. The event ends and everyone goes home.

Conclusion: This SONA event is extremely mysterious and controversial. I noticed all the Earthlings were talking about it afterwards! Honestly, I got bored by the whole thing. But some strange phenomenon is behind this activity, and we must uncover it.

What is the state of this nation? And why were all these Earthlings well-dressed?

I will report again soon.

"Sunrise" by ARK

A lot of people love watching the sunset. It is a romantic scene that we can admire from a distance, as the light struggles to break free from the coming evening, and as the sky bursts into different shades of red and orange.

But I am one of those few who love watching the sunrise.

Staring at the dark blue sky from a cold, windy balcony is such a delight, knowing that the darkness is about to fade and the night is at its end. You can feel that the dawn is coming.

And then suddenly, the heavens start shifting colors, and the light slowly breaks in. The sun rises from where it fell, and its rays energize you. You are awakened within with the coming of this bright yellow star, and you know you are alive.

You embrace the warmth and smile a little, because the morning is there again.

I consider myself a morning person.

Mainly, it's another excuse to drink coffee, but the morning really brings delight. Not that everyone would agree.

For me, it is a reminder that we can fall and rise again, since that is the natural cycle of life. The daytime brings me hope. The sunrise is a symbol of that hope.

And I'll always love the sunrise.