"Unangelic" by ARK

I know there's no such term. But I feel unangelic right now. You know? It's the opposite of angelic. And I am literally an angel! How could an angel feel "unangelic?"

Have you ever felt so ugly you just wanna rip your feathers off? Probably not, 'cause you don't have wings.

This is an unusual feeling for someone like me.

I usually feel confident. But only during this particular moment, I feel like I'm anything other than an angel.

And it's different from my more commonly felt "dirty" feeling. It's the feeling I get after a long tiring day. I feel dirty and dusty, and I can fix everything by simply taking a bath.

In fact I feel clean. I feel light and smooth all over. Right now I just feel ugly. And I know, you can't wash away ugliness.

This sudden rush of self-doubt is the kind that Dev would often tease me about. But I don't care. My self-esteem is so low right now, that I don't even care.

But at least I'm admitting what I feel. By allowing myself to feel horrible once in a while, I am allowing myself to appreciate the times where I don't feel like trash. I can redeem myself in a more powerful way next time.

So bring it on. This is my unangelic mode. I will wear my halo down for now, so I can lift myself up higher after some time.

I wonder when that time will be?