"Earth" by MAX

So this is Earth.

Hello everyone. I am Max. My good friends Ark and Dev allowed me to “post” on this “blog”. But honestly, I have no idea what this is for. Our technology in Mars is too advanced for this primitive “computer” as they call it. 

Since I have no idea what this is for, I would just use this to post my plans for our invasion of Earth. You see, I was sent here by my fellow Martians to see the planet for myself before we prepared an attack plan. And here I am, abducted gently by these weird Earthlings Ark and Dev. But I can say that these two do not resemble the other human beings I found here. They have yellow skin, unlike the others who had black, white or brown skin. What does this mean? Are Dev and Ark superior human species?

I have to be prepared. They might go and betray me. But Ark has volunteered to “guide” me around planet Earth. And so, I am sure that in the next few weeks, I will be very familiar with this watery planet.

So I have already made a few observations. These will be my handy guide towards uncovering the planet’s secrets.

1.       Earth is small. But just as small as Mars. They are closer to what they call “The Sun” which is what we call THESUN in Mars. This “Sun” seems to provide the humans light and warmth. Without it, most of them will die because of extreme cold. Us martians may consider stealing the “Sun” so as to get rid of the human population. But this is subject to further study. 

2.       Earth is watery. Most of its mass is contributed by H2O, or what humans call “water”. The Earth is covered by water, and yet they still choose to call it “Earth”. Foolish species. Sadly, we do not have water in Mars, and it may come to our advantage if we take this watery resource to supply our planet. I do not know what it is for, though.

3.       Earth has many resources…resources that Mars do not have. Aside from the useless H2O, it has come to my attention that these humans have other treasures as well. They can dig things from the ground and take precious stones, and they call this “mining”. They can also use a rare energy called “electricity”, but Ark says they have to pay other humans for this so-called “electricity”. It sucks. But the thing I liked the most about this planet is that they can kill and consume their fellow Earthlings. They have unique creatures here called “animals” which they kill and eat, so as to feed their appetites.

4.       Earth creatures are amazing! Some of them can fly, swim, crawl and some are strong enough to kill humans! But these humans are not so friendly with their creatures. They have this cool activity wherein they enslave these “animals” and turn them into “pets”. These “pets” are very lucky and will be taught how to act like human beings. They will know “tricks” such as “Sit”, “Stay”, “Play Dead”. But it’s all fun and games. They do this for human entertainment. I believe I can learn how to become a human by turning myself into a “pet”, and learning all these “tricks”. This is why I let Dev call me a “pet”.

I have a lot more observations about this planet, but Dev is bugging me to use this primitive “computer”. He wants to blog as well. But next time, I shall post more of my plans. Until next time, primitive online journal!


Note: I do believe that this little “translator” that Ark made for me is a bit dysfunctional. It cannot translate some of my words. I ought to tell him to fix it.

"Translator" by ARK

Hehehe. I'm just happy that I finally made a translator for my alien friend, Max. It's a little device I made myself, and it's supposed to go with Max's little hover...and it's really hard to explain, but it's supposed to translate whatever his language is into English. It's brilliant, isn't it?

Well, I've been talking to Max all day, and he's really interesting. He wants to know more about Earth, and how things here work. So I'm going to be his "tour guide", and I bet it would be so much fun.

He keeps talking about sending an alien fleet here to "invade our world", but I bet he's just kidding. He's one funny chap. Anyway, I'll be exploring the Earth with him, and show him everything we've got-'cause I'm a proud Earthling. I'll also teach Max how to blog, so he could post his "alien opinions" here. That would be so good.

That's all for now, friends. Bye. :)

"Max" by DEV and ARK

Dev: Hey guys. Dev here. So Ark and I were busy doing random things in the mall when this lost dude approached us, asking us where our "leader" is. He was sorta weird, having weird skin and all. But Ark got so excited when he saw the dude. And he was like...

Ark: WOW! AN ALIEN!!

Dev: I dunno where Ark gets all his ideas, but I'm not really sure I wanna find out. He called the green dude "ALIEN" and then went on talking to him.

Ark: You must be a REAL alien! Gosh, I'm so excited to see someone like you. So... what's it like in Mars? Is it cold? Can Earth people live there? Have you been to the Moon???



Max: *beep* *beeeeeep* *bop* *beeep* 

Dev: Pretty nerdy if you ask me. And you can bet that they didn't understand a word from each other. The alien dude kept talking, while Ark pretended to understand. I pretended to care.

Max: *beeep* *boop* *bop* *bop*

Ark: So... Let me just call you Max. Yes, that would be a good nickname. Hey, Dev, can we keep him?

Dev: Yeah, sure. Whatever.

Dev: (to all of you) AND THAT'S HOW WE GOT A PET ALIEN. Ark doesn't like calling Max a pet and considers him a "friend". So let's just say Ark now has a new pet friend...who he can not understand a single word of. Ta da!

"Last Flight Out!" by DEV

Heard that one of my classmates hates this song. And the only reason it's here is to annoy him. LOL.

And here's a lyric video too. XD

Now you could REALLY appreciate this song.

To the rest of the world that has nothing against the song Last Flight Out, good morning! :)

"The New Rachel!" by DEV

And because I'm excited for the fourth season of my favorite TV show (which is in fact the only reason I open the TV nowadays), here are some updates for all my fellow Gleeks out there...wherever and whoever you guys are.

So the first episode of Season 4 will be entitled "The New Rachel". That pretty much means that the entire episode will feature a lot of Rachel Berry. So for those Glee fans who have lost hope when they saw the main characters graduate, REJOICE! Most of the previous cast members are to appear frequently on the show. It's as if they never left.

Anyway, I heard that Glee will be sort of split now. Some parts of the episode will feature the lives of the McKinley High students (as usual) and some parts will feature the epilogue for our beloved characters. I guess we'll be seeing how life has changed for the New Directions ever since they graduated.

It's also been confirmed that they will be paying another tribute episode to Britney Spears. On this note, I'm not that excited. They've already done this in Season 2-why do it again? I mean, there are a lot of great artists out there that can be appreciated on the show. And not to belittle Britney Spears's talent, but why??? Why do we need a second tribute to her? I hope Glee has a good explanation.

Just to mention, I want to see these tribute episodes: The Beatles, Katy Perry, Black Eyed Peas, Bob Marley, Queen and Aerosmith.

So... if you want more updates and spoilers for the show, here's one of the most reliable Glee sources:

http://glee.wikia.com/wiki/Season_Four

WARNING: I've already mentioned the word SPOILER, so you oughtta know what you should be warned about this site. Most of what goes on there come true.

Another thing,









These two guys over here, are new characters for Season 4. Watch out for them. :)

"A Bad World" by ARK

I'm not really in the mood to post something long, because Dev and I are busy playing Jetpack Joyride. We've finished--well, Dev finished--all of the missions and we're busy unlocking new jetpacks.

So I guess I'm only posting this for the sake of making a point.

I know everyone thinks I'm the good guy here. Compared to Dev, I'm probably the nicest guy ever. But that doesn't mean I'm not exposed to the cruel sides of life. I'm not blind to every bad thing that happens around me. I just choose to see things in a positive way.

I see things like other people do. I know the world is full of people who won't be so nice to me, even if I'm nice to them. I'm aware of this. That doesn't mean I have to be as cruel as they are. We live in the same world, but I choose to live in my world with my own perspective.

I know that life can suck. I've seen several times how the wheel can turn. Sometimes you feel like you're on top of everything, and the next minute you see yourself rolling on the mud. I'm not blind, and I've experienced this before. I may not be as experienced as others, but I know I'm not completely clueless.

So there, I've said what I wanted to say. Life is a blessing. But you don't have to be a bad person to see that the world isn't always so good.

"Spirit of Trolling!" by DEV

The art of trolling is simple, said a random picture I found on the internet. All you had to do was put random words in really small letters…

LOL. If you read Ark’s post last couple of days ago, (here! http://devandark.blogspot.com/2012/07/oreos-by-ark.html) he was expecting me to post something about coffee. I never did that, did I? LOL. When he mentioned that, it felt like a chore to me, and so the coffee post never made it to the blog. In the spirit of trolling, I ignored Ark and completely forgot about coffee all together. Come to think of it, I haven’t had any coffee in days! Sheesh, no wonder my system’s been running slow. I can’t function well without coffee.

Thing is, I like drinking coffee, and I DON’T like drinking coffee. Why? First, ‘cause it’s delicious. But it causes me to get all shaky every time I drink it. I get shaky a lot of times, and I hate that. It’s a torture to know that coffee causes my world to shake. It’s torture, isn’t it? Why must the world be so cruel? Why must I fall in love with the one drink that betrays me all the time?

HEEEYYY. I shouldn’t be posting about coffee…gotta stay true to the spirit of caffeine. *ehem* the spirit of trolling, I mean.

Now I should talk about something else. Quick! Think of something I could say, before I type too many words! I mean, typing too much would mean a long and boring post. And that would mean I have to apologize by putting a potato at the very bottom of this post.

What is it with potatoes anyway? Why are people obsessed with those little plants that are yet to become fries? The world has become a weird place, you know.

In the spirit of trolling, I shall show you 200 pictures of potatoes. Hope you get enough folks:

Ok, so I won't really tolerate your obsession with potatoes, so go ahead and buy yourself some real ones instead of looking at their pictures. Or come to think of it, why don't you just buy us some french fries? Yeah, that would be the better idea.

Sorry for the long post that had nothing to do with trolling, folks. Guess what? You got trolled. Now here, have some french fries-potatoes are too mainstream now.

"The Main Character" by ARK

I don’t like being the main character in anything, because I never wanted that much responsibility…until I realized I’m not the main character in my own story.

When watching movies, I wouldn’t focus much on the main character. The world revolves around the protagonist, so why pay more attention to him? To me, the ones who really mattered are those who played littler roles, but somehow affected the story in a larger way. The minor characters attracted me more. Sometimes, I’d even salute the villains for doing such a great job at ruining the star’s life. Major characters would always win, but he couldn’t do that without his friends. 

When playing video games, I wouldn’t choose the main character, because to me, that character would be the most boring one. Surely a lot of people would use that character, and therefore would make that person common. When playing video games I would choose the weirdest person in the selection. Then I would excel in using that character, and finally make him seem significant. Main characters are powerful, but the unexplored abilities of the others are more appealing to me.

I guess I just want to be different from others most of the time. And the ignored state of the minor characters often gives me that advantage. I AM a minor character, and for that I am unique.

But then I saw myself and realized: I’m not the main character of my own life. In my perspective, I’ve always been the friend, the sibling, the son, the relative of some other bigger personality. I’ve never viewed myself as important as those around me. Most of the time, what they do is fine by me. After all, it’s their story-not mine.

I realized that I have my own life. In this story, I’m in control. I’m the main character, and I couldn’t escape that. It’s an intimidating, yet liberating truth. I can do whatever I want with my life, for my story not only revolves around the people I support, but also myself. I should stop thinking of what other people think of me, and start caring more about who I think I am. Thing is, it’s my life.

This is a good realization. I should be more selfish, instead of shying away from every opportunity that goes my way-not that I have ever let a good opportunity pass-I always grab at them. My point is I should start seeing myself as important as those people I care about. Not only that, continue to be a minor character in their lives. I’m going to be the best minor character in their lives-boosting them up until they reach their happy endings…WHILE boosting myself up too.

What is my story? I’m going to continue this now, because I have a story to finish. The story of my life isn’t gonna finish itself.

"Jetpack Joe!" by DEV

This article is about my newest addiction: JETPACK JOE!

It's actually a Facebook game called "Jetpack Joyride". But when I first saw Jen playing it, I accidentally said "hey, you're playing Jetpack Joe." And the title stuck in my head that way. I have several titles for it, including...

Machine Gun Joe!

or

Average Joe!

But it's mostly called Jetpack Joe. The main character's name is Barry, but I still call him Joe. Nobody can do anything about it anyway, right?

The reason I'm addicted to it is because it's awesomazing. The point of the game is to get as far as you can with Barry's machine gun jetpack. Shooting at the ground, Barry "flies" over both obstacles and nerds. You'll have to dodge electrical zappers and missiles. And as Barry steals the jetpack, he'll be facing a lot of things like lasers, heavy-powered vehicles and more nerds.

As you and Barry collect coins, you'll be able to buy several cool gadgets, armors and other stuff.

NERD ALERT: There's this gadget that gets rid of scientists a.k.a. "the nerds". But I suggest you skip using it, 'cause it's a lot more fun blasting them with your machine gun as they run around helplessly (needless to say that they are surprisingly cute)

And to spare me from a lot more explaining, here's the official trailer of this awesomazing game, JETPACK JOE. *ehem* JETPACK JOYRIDE.

This IS a great joyride.

"Worm's Eye View" by ARK

We have different eyes, and we stand on different grounds. There’s no surprise if we see things differently.

Yes everything around us is the same, and we live on the same world. But it’s amazing how we view things in so many different ways. I guess it’s just a matter of perspective.

Flying to school, I saw the roofs of various houses and infrastructures. The sight was common to me, for I always passed the same route. I always hovered over these buildings, and they never seemed to change. I saw rusty metal, dusty roads, and smoke floating towards the sky…well, towards me. I saw little people busy with their own burdens, minding each other very rarely.

But one day, a storm brewed. The sky I was once so comfortable with, was throwing tantrums. And I knew I couldn’t do anything to ease its anger. So I decided to do something very new to me. I walked.

I used the same route I always took- only this time it felt different. I was walking, not flying. It felt odd. The world I thought I knew wasn’t so familiar to me anymore. I saw things that were always there, but never passed my eyes. This was the worm’s eye view. 

I saw everything up close. The rusty metal roofs weren’t so visible but I saw the buildings that it sheltered. The dusty roads were so close to me, that my feet touched them. I finally saw where the smoke was coming from. And among all the things I noticed, I noticed the people. The little people whose existence I never really paid attention to-they were actually real. Everything was so close and so real. Everything felt significant, for I saw how everything worked.

There’s no wonder the rich people can’t see how much the poor suffer. They always have the bird’s eye view of everything. They only see roofs and little, unnecessary people who exist just for the sake of filling up the world. That’s a sad truth. Another sad truth is that some of the elites can see from the worm’s view. They only choose to ignore it.

But to the people below, they can only dream of seeing from a higher perspective. Some of them have stopped dreaming, and are content with how they see the world. But I guess it does feel good when everything you see has significance…something that not everyone sees…something only THEY can see. In a way, their point of view is the only treasure they can truly hold on to.

"Things You Didn't Know: GAME SHOWS"

1. You will pay taxes for your own winnings.

2. Being good at the game is not as important as your personal background. People don't like boring contestants.

3. Most of your "competitors" do it for a living. They are cast by the producer, and not actually a real part of the game.

"101!" by DEV

This is just so unfair! I just noticed that I reached 100 posts already! AND it wasn't me who posted the hundredth article: It was JEN! And it was about math! Just yesterday I was talking how much I "loved that subject".

I was planning to post it before ARK, but JEN already beat me to it! Well, lookie here. That was a surprise.


To celebrate the 101st post, here's a video from one of my favorite game shows: "101 Ways To Leave A Gameshow".

It's a simple, fast-paced and utterly dangerous game that requires courage...LOTS OF IT. Wanna know why? 'Cause if you make the mistake of getting eliminated, you're gonna find out why the show is named that way. You'll leave the show with one of 101 amazingly unique (and dangerous...yeah, mostly dangerous) exits. You can get thrown out of a window, be chased by vicious dogs, or fall headfirst into very deep water. Don't you just love the violence?? Well, I do. The psychological torture is delicious. And hey, the contestants always saw it coming.

Since class is still cancelled, I'm just gonna stay here and eat. So long, fellas. Happy 100 posts. :)