"Earth" by MAX

So this is Earth.

Hello everyone. I am Max. My good friends Ark and Dev allowed me to “post” on this “blog”. But honestly, I have no idea what this is for. Our technology in Mars is too advanced for this primitive “computer” as they call it. 

Since I have no idea what this is for, I would just use this to post my plans for our invasion of Earth. You see, I was sent here by my fellow Martians to see the planet for myself before we prepared an attack plan. And here I am, abducted gently by these weird Earthlings Ark and Dev. But I can say that these two do not resemble the other human beings I found here. They have yellow skin, unlike the others who had black, white or brown skin. What does this mean? Are Dev and Ark superior human species?

I have to be prepared. They might go and betray me. But Ark has volunteered to “guide” me around planet Earth. And so, I am sure that in the next few weeks, I will be very familiar with this watery planet.

So I have already made a few observations. These will be my handy guide towards uncovering the planet’s secrets.

1.       Earth is small. But just as small as Mars. They are closer to what they call “The Sun” which is what we call THESUN in Mars. This “Sun” seems to provide the humans light and warmth. Without it, most of them will die because of extreme cold. Us martians may consider stealing the “Sun” so as to get rid of the human population. But this is subject to further study. 

2.       Earth is watery. Most of its mass is contributed by H2O, or what humans call “water”. The Earth is covered by water, and yet they still choose to call it “Earth”. Foolish species. Sadly, we do not have water in Mars, and it may come to our advantage if we take this watery resource to supply our planet. I do not know what it is for, though.

3.       Earth has many resources…resources that Mars do not have. Aside from the useless H2O, it has come to my attention that these humans have other treasures as well. They can dig things from the ground and take precious stones, and they call this “mining”. They can also use a rare energy called “electricity”, but Ark says they have to pay other humans for this so-called “electricity”. It sucks. But the thing I liked the most about this planet is that they can kill and consume their fellow Earthlings. They have unique creatures here called “animals” which they kill and eat, so as to feed their appetites.

4.       Earth creatures are amazing! Some of them can fly, swim, crawl and some are strong enough to kill humans! But these humans are not so friendly with their creatures. They have this cool activity wherein they enslave these “animals” and turn them into “pets”. These “pets” are very lucky and will be taught how to act like human beings. They will know “tricks” such as “Sit”, “Stay”, “Play Dead”. But it’s all fun and games. They do this for human entertainment. I believe I can learn how to become a human by turning myself into a “pet”, and learning all these “tricks”. This is why I let Dev call me a “pet”.

I have a lot more observations about this planet, but Dev is bugging me to use this primitive “computer”. He wants to blog as well. But next time, I shall post more of my plans. Until next time, primitive online journal!


Note: I do believe that this little “translator” that Ark made for me is a bit dysfunctional. It cannot translate some of my words. I ought to tell him to fix it.