DEV and ARK: "Gifts" by MAX

Earth Invasion Report: The Earthlings are growing unusually joyful these days. Could it have anything to do with their annual event called “Christmas”?

All of this happened about two days ago. I had just reawakened from a two-week alien hibernation when all this occurred.

I was hovering around the neighborhood one cold night, when I noticed a large green tree inside one of the houses. Ark told me before that Earth plants only grow outside their homes, but I have seen several violations to this rule. Earthlings keep plants on these hardened mud they call “pots.” I have grown used to seeing plants inside human homes. But this large tree caught my eye. It was large, and it did not seem natural.

Scanning it with my handheld computer, I found that it was indeed artificial. But why would Earthlings keep a gigantic artificial tree inside their homes? Curious, I investigated further and found that almost every single house in the neighborhood had one! And every time an Earthling would see it, he would smile like an asddsfg.

Why?

I burned with curiosity. For the first time, I noticed the other bizarre things that the Earthlings have been “decorating” their houses with. I entered one of the neighbor’s houses. They have strings of colored lights hanging on their walls; they have pictures of a big, fat man wearing red; and under the huge tree are items concealed within a colorful piece of paper.

What do these mean? Is this some sort of Earthling ritual dedicated to the fat man wearing red? And what are the humans hiding in those colorful boxes?

I used my blaster to burn open the boxes and found silly little items like human clothes and toys. Why are these here?

Suddenly, Ark flew into the room. “What are you doing in here? And what did you do to all the gifts?”, he was frantic.

“What gifts?”

Ark looked around to see if anyone was watching. When he saw that there was nobody else, he released a magical beam of blue light from his hands. The blue light swirled all over the burning “gifts” and they slowly returned to normal. “Humans celebrate Christmas, Max.”

“I knew it! What’s Christmas? Is it a secret Earthling forum that worships the big fat guy?”

“You mean Santa Claus? No. Christmas is a celebration where they remember the birth of Jesus Christ”

I was confused. “Who’s Jesus Christ? And who’s Santa Claus?”

“It’s a long story, Max,” said Ark. “But this is the season where everyone feels happy. We celebrate our love for everyone by giving gifts to them.”

“You mean the ones in the boxes?”

“Yes, the boxes contain gifts. They are just symbols of our appreciation towards other people. You know, Christmas is full of wonderful symbols. Like the Christmas tree, the lights, the angels, and…”