And by last day of OUR existence, I mean, it's YOUR last day of existence. Ark and I could always return to Heaven, you know. We'd totally skip the Apocalypse tomorrow.
Anywho, I bet it would be fun to post something about this day. I mean, what if it IS your last day today? What would you do?
THIS IS MAH LIST: (IF the world would end tomorrow)
1. Skydive! I don't know where, but I've always wanted to skydive. I'll hijack the nearest plane and I'll jump from over hundred feet! Plus factor: I wont wear my parachute! (I have wings, remember?)
2. Kill everyone I hate! I'll be like, "the world will end tomorrow, so lemme put you outta your misery."
3. Rob banks and stores!! And then I'll be like "you won't be needing this anymore!" to every bank person and businessman I see there.
4. Run around naked! Well, I'm already practically naked since I'm only wearing this bow tie, but you get my point. NUDISTS FOREVER!
5. STEAL SOME MORE! Ti's the season to go all kleptomaniac on everyone you know! Time to get everything you've always wanted. *evil smile* BWAHAHAHAHA. Other people's Christmas presents, here I come!
6. Help someone give birth. You know... 'cause everything on this list involves crime. I should do something good at least once before the world ends. Then I'll talk to the baby and be all "welcome to the world! It's about to end in a few hours, so be free!!" I will then launch the baby into the air.
7. SEX! Well, I'm pretty sure people will go on a crazy sex rage, hoping to get nailed one last time before the Mayans smite them with the fist of the gods. I'll just be joining the party.
8. Free all the animals!! Who wants to be trapped in a cage while the world ends? Not the animals! And that includes all pets too.9. While I'm at it, free ALL the prisoners! Just to give them one last moment to reunite with their families... Or strike revenge on whoever sent them to jail in the first place. I don't really care what they do. But FREEDOM IS FREEDOM baby! (a FREE prisoner is a HAPPY prisoner)
10. Have one last sound trip! I'll recall all the songs I've listened to before, and reminisce the good ol' days...Eww.. Probably not.
11. Send MAX home! This dude aint part of the Apocalypse! He belongs out there, with his alien family...in his home planet that would also end some time later.
12. Tell everyone my secrets! You know, just to see how they'd react. Then I shall laugh as their disturbing thoughts send them into depression minutes before the Apocalypse. And I'll be like, "I don't care, man"
13. Ask the Mayans WHY they did't extend the calendar. 'Nuff said.
14. Maim or injure this certain singer everyone hates because of his faggy style and attitude.
15. Eat my last gummy bear, eat my last pizza, drink my last coffee... Only because all those people who create these delicious things will die too.16. Get in an hour-long relationship with some random (but beautiful) person.
17. BLAME ARK FOR THE APOCALYPSE! (Really just an excuse to leave him here while I fly back to Heaven)
18. PUBLISH A TWO-PAGE NOVEL!! COOL!
19. Get Ark drunk! He's never been drunk! And it's frustrating that every time I try, I'M THE ONE WHO ENDS UP DRUNK!
20. And PRAY that Somebody makes another Earth. It's been really cool here. I love the people, and the places, and the events... Earth is a cool place to be!
LAST MESSAGE: I can't bring this computer to Heaven, so if this world ends, this is probably my last post. Anyway, nobody will be there to read more of my posts if that happens right??? So lemme just say this... *wells up in tears* I love you all!
I'm gonna put magic on this computer, so it will survive the Apocalypse. So if you're a Mayan, or an alien, and you're reading this, my magic worked. To you, dear Mayan/Alien: THE HUMAN RACE WAS AWESOMAZING!!!Talk to me in person! Here's my address: Heaven. I'll be glad to tell you all about the humans!
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