"Can't Go Alone!" by DEV

So yesterday we were at the mall, trying to drain down four and a half hours of unproductive school hours, when Ark and I noticed the number of girls inside the female comfort room. Ok, that didn’t sound right. Well the door was open and we happened to pass by. You can’t blame us for noticing, can you?

Anyway, I remembered my age-old question of why girls go to restrooms in small groups. Why the heck can’t they go alone?

I asked a bunch of trustworthy girls I knew, to see their point of view. Grandma said there was no reason. My classmate said they do it for fun. But there must be something else! Something’s fishy. The girls must be hiding something. I might as well “formulate” some guesses.

1: Maybe some girls are members of a dark cult? Maybe they worship some random toilet paper. Meetings are held where toilet paper is abundant, and they do mysterious rituals like offering food and chanting songs. Yep, that’s outright creepy. 

2: Maybe it’s the real way aliens abduct female humans? Maybe they hypnotize girls into visiting the nearest comfort room and that’s where they kidnap them and take them to Mars! And maybe they’re replaced by shape shifting alien drones. No wonder they look prettier after stepping out of the comfort room.

3: Maybe it’s a secret drug scheme? Probably. Girls work together to buy/sell drugs while inside the restrooms. And since there aren’t any CCTV cameras inside, there’s no way for them to get caught! It’s actually a brilliant idea. But nah, that’s impossible.

4: Maybe some rock concerts are exclusively performed there? After all, rock concerts are dominated by men. And there’s just no easy way for a rock music-loving girl to watch those concerts, right?

5: Maybe there’s a Portkey inside every female comfort room that leads to Hogwarts? For all those who don’t know what I’m talking about, go ask Harry Potter. That must mean most of the girls I meet are witches, and they could use magic! Better respect them from now on.

6: Maybe they go to comfort rooms together for safety and protection? They also use it as a chance to look at themselves, and see if they’re a mess. They use it as a chance to fix the way they look before reintroducing themselves to the world! But nah, that’s impossible.

I’m still bothered. I still don’t know the answer. But I won’t be asking anymore. I read on 9gag.com why girls SHOULDN’T go inside comfort rooms alone. BAAAD things happen in there, trust me.